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Roller Derby « Ted's Polish-Mexican Page

Dust Devil at TCC

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Published on: April 10, 2010

Tucson Roller Derby is excited to announce that not only has the Dust Devil returned from hiatus, but that it will be at TCC. Press release after the jump.

The Dust Devil started a few years ago first as a national championship in 2006, the first time any such thing was organized among the various grassroots roller derby leagues. The Dust Devil was held again in 2007 as a western states championship. It was put on hold for two years to return this year. I wrote an account of the first championship bout, a scrappy contest and narrow win by Texas over Tucson.


New Roller Derby Season

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Published on: February 9, 2009

Attended the debut bout of this Tucson Roller Derby season. There are a couple of rules changes from WFTDA, the most noticeable being that the final jam is completed, no matter how much time there is on the clock. It was kind of fun under the old system, when in a close match the audience would count down during that last jam wondering if the lead would change. On the flip side, in lopsided matches, the final jam would feature a minute or so of aimless skating that tended to be a let down. Given the format of this weekend’s action (15 minute mini matches between the teams), I can’t judge yet how this will affect the matches.

The first new promotion from the Derby Brats made her debut: Luc3f3r. She definitely has the speed, but has not yet figured out how to take a hit (no contact allowed in Derby Brats). She got jossled pretty badly by the Copper Queens and FTW. But, her speed gave Iron Curtain fans something to look forward to this season, with a victory (albeit in a short exhibition match) against an underpowered FTW.

FTW looked overmatched. In an attempt to make the league more “Fair and Balanced,” Deadlock Doe, the lynchpin of the team for years, was transfered to Vice Squad. They also have suffered from the retirement of Sloppy Flo. They didn’t win any of the “mini matches” and rarely had a lead jammer. I gotta keep reminding myself that FTW has traditionally started matches even or sometimes behind, only to pile up leads late in the match. In a fifteen minute mini-bout, there is no “late.”

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Furious Truckstop Waitresses 62 – VICE Squad 88

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Published on: May 19, 2008

Well, all streaks must come to an end. Otherwise, things would get pretty darned boring.

Sloppy Flo
showed why she is still the strongest jammer in the league. She was able to pile on points, but unfortunately for the Furious Truckstop Waitresses, Peaches Rodriguez was unable to find any seams in the VICE Squad pack. VICE seemed to be in control of just about every jam.

Toward the end of the bout, Rodriguez was able to score some points and prevented a blowout of thirty or fourty points.

VICE deserves a great deal of credit here. Last season, I thought they were too depedendent on Penny Tenchery. With her gone, their offense is a lot more three dimensional. They also learned FTW’s method of building a big lead and killing the game off with a tight defense. FTW deserves credit for staying in this until the end.

Iron Curtain mascot Che had me take a couple of pictures of him early in the season. I had trouble getting them off of the camera. Here they are for his downloading and your amusement:

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Hooligans Acting Like Gentlemen…or Ladies

I was watching one of ESPN’s broadcasts of the Women’s World Cup. Tony DiCicco talked about the new tie-breaker, the “Fair Play” ranking. Each team starts with ten points, and then loses 1 point for a yellow card, two points for a sending off for a second yellow and three points for a red card. DiCicco’s broadcast partner remarked that this was so complicated it might require a calculator.

What, to subtract two from ten?

I thought, hey, what if they did this in MLS. It turns out that they do something like that. Their “Fair Play” system is a heck of a lot more complicated, but comes down to reds and yellows, with consideration to teams that have “clean games.” You can find them at the bottom of this article.

Note to those of you that think that New York Red Bulls and New England Revolution are a bunch of hacks (me for New York, and I’m looking at you Dan Loney for New England): guess what the number one and two teams are?

In last…the “class” of Major League Soccer, DC United.

Then I thought…let’s apply a rough version of this system to TRD. I went by the same system used in the Women’s World Cup, since there are as few games being evaluated. I started them at 10 (good a spot as any), and took one off for anyone sent to the box for minor penalty accumulation, two off for a major, and three for an expulsion. Note that the stats do not include the final and the third place match (which included the only expulsion I can think of this season), since the stats have not yet been posted.

Copper Queens: -48
Furious Truckstop Waitresses: -56
Iron Curtain: -109
Vice Squad: -110

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Let’s Rock With the Tough Girls

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Published on: September 15, 2007

I decided not to do do a full blown preview of tonight’s match. Suffice it to say this:

  • The Furious Truckstop Waitresses have only lost one game against a TRD opponent in their entire existence. But…
  • That game was a championship match against VICE Squad
  • VICE Squad had a tougher than expected time beating novice squad Copper Queens last week. But…
  • FTW had a suprisingly difficult match against perrenial last place Iron Curtain last week.
  • Unlike the last championship, FTW will be without stalwarts Fisti Cuffs and Jezebelle. But…
  • VICE Squad has lost Dirty Teri to the Copper Queens and Hard Anya has left the league.

Suffice it to say…close match.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

"Hatch, I Think We Can Win…"

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Published on: September 9, 2007

I neglected to do a preview of the Iron CurtainFurious Truckstop Waitresses match. It’s okay, none of you noticed and I would have been dead wrong about the match.

Not only did Iron Curtain make it a match, there were several points where they were in danger of winning. Granted, the Reds took advantage of some serious mistakes that FTW made in the first period (including a problem Betty Anarchy had with her skate that left her at less than top performance), but the fact that IC was able to take advantage of those mistakes is a huge improvement. I don’t think you could have seen that even a couple of months ago.

In the end, FTW did what it does best: slowly opening up a lead that shut down offensive options for Iron Curtain. In the end, they had a still impressive 113 – 82 point victory.

The 82 points is the most they have scored since a bout in March of 2005 against a still new VICE Squad.

In the second bout, the VICE Squad had an equally tough match against the Copper Queens. They were always able to keep a little bit of a lead, but star jammer Penny Tenchery was unable to pile on the huge leads that she has been able to against weaker teams before.

Interestingly, we stood a good chance of both teams scoring in triple digits. Final score was 112-92.

For some reason, the crowd was a bit smaller than usual, no line at the snack bar. But, the fact that Iron Curtain looked like they could win their first game ever got the crowd amped. Not too many folks stayed for the second match though. Maybe they were played out. Eh?

I think I’m looking forward to next week’s third place match more than the championship. Yeah, FTW vs VICE…been there, done that. IC vs Queens? Now that both know they can win that game, it’ll be fun.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Scouting Report: VICE Squad v Copper Queens

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Published on: September 8, 2007

Tonight’s first playoff match will be VICE Squad v Copper Queens. Doors open at 6:00 at Bladeworld. Yeah, I said six…that means you gotta leave the house earlier.

Copper Queens:
Previous Match: Furious Truckstop Waitresses 102 – CQ 62 (21 Jul)
Season Record: 1 – 2
Leading Scorer: Cheap Ore (P/J) – 128 points in 26 jams
Leading Defender: Ferocious Oxide (P/J) – 81 blocks, 12 penalties (1 major)
Probable Absences: None

VICE Squad:
Previous Match: VS 122 – Iron Curtain 46 (18 Aug)
Season Record: 2 – 1
Leading Scorer: Penny Tencherry (J/B) – 131 points in 39 jams
Leading Defender: Whiskey Mick (P/J) – 113 blocks, 22 penalties (7 major)
Probable Absences: None

Previous Meetings (Winner in bold):
VS 102 – CQ 28 (14 Apr 2007)

Ted’s Expert Analysis (unless otherwise noted, stats for jammers from last bout played):

Don’t let the score from their last meeting fool you. The Copper Queens have improved greatly over the intervening time. In that first match, they depended largely on veteran Dirty Teri (who scored over half of their points in that match). Over the last few matches, both their offense and defense has become stronger and less dependent on her, as evidenced by their win against Iron Curtain (106-71) and their performance (albeit in a losing effort) against champions Furious Truckstop Waitresses.

Despite the improvements, expect VICE Squad to win this one. Copper Queens are strong enough now to take advantage of a mistake here and there. Expect them to keep this interesting deep into the match.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

Scouting Report: Iron Curtain v VICE Squad

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Published on: August 18, 2007

Tonight at Bladeworld, it’s cops versus commies. Yes, Rob Stone, versus is not a noun so no need to say “verse.”

Iron Curtain:
Previous Match: Copper Queens 106 – IC 71 (10 Jul)
Season Record: 0 – 2
Leading Scorer: Bolshe Vixen (J/B) – 43 points in 16 jams
Leading Defender: Doris Badenov (J/B) – 44 blocks, 16 penalties
Probable Absences: None

VICE Squad:
Previous Match: Furious Truckstop Waitresses 77 – VS 69 (5 May)
Season Record: 1 – 1
Leading Scorer: Penny Tencherry (J/B) – 83 points in 29 jams
Leading Defender: Whiskey Mick (P/J) – 73 blocks, 18 penalties (6 major)
Probable Absences: None

Previous Meetings (Winner in bold):
VS 134 – IC 66 (19 Aug 2006)
VS 125 – IC 25 (16 Jul 2005)
VS 141 – IC 82 (5 Mar 2005)

Ted’s Expert Analysis (unless otherwise noted, stats for jammers from last bout played):

Expect VICE Squad to win and win big (see above). Iron Curtain is improving with a more stable line up this season, but after seeing their performance against the nearly all novice Copper Queen squad, I don’t see a way for them to pull this one off. Look for Bolshe Vixen (24 points in 5 jams) to keep things interesting though.

Talk is that VICE Squad will turn to some other jammers, such as Carrie Gunns (16 points in 6 jams) and Sami Automatic (25 points in 6 jams). This is good for the team. My criticism of the team is that they have been way to dependent on Penny Tencherry (28 points in 13 jams). In their victory over the Copper Queens, they used her on every jam in one period. This came back to bite them in their last match against FTW when she got taken out of the last jam due to penalty accumulation, denying them a probable come back.

Hasta la proxima. Do zobaczenia.

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